I sit amid my splintered life;
Convulsed in misery, repulsed at strife
tears, distorts, and damages my goods,
blood, my name, as nothing ever should.
had promised always to remain;
with my life, to ease the pain
world might bring, to be the priest
savior of my brood and ask the least,
now in agony, no toys upon my floor,
outstretched, no tiny voice, no more
welcome sweetness of my purest son
me as he's always done.
fragments never more shall know
unity, the oneness of my soul.
appears inviting when I see
agonizing silence awaiting me.
knew each cell could suffer so.
dreamed that like a vapor go
lives I cared for -- cherished --loved
dedicated to the Lord above.
thousand devil-demons taunt me now
because I don't know how
again or even just begin.
so vile within.
Un-Father's Day, I've heard before
like me who've suffered more.
understood, 'til now,
lethal agony of broken vows.
You'll answer every prayer
like me. We're so alone and we
prayers are garbled messages
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